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Let’s start with a cliché: the Grammy Awards is like a car wreck. You know you don’t want to see it, but you can’t help but check it out. This is a mistake I make yearly.
Considering few other artists besides Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Taylor Swift were nominated, I wasn’t anticipating anything worth watching, and I was right.
Back to the car wreck metaphor – Lady Gaga’s opening performance. Seriously? What was that? She looked like Audrey II, the evil plant from “Little Shop of Horrors,” with shoulder pads and a thong. Now this sounds intriguing, but I found very little sexually appealing about a man-like shrub singing and dancing poorly.
Throughout the entire evening, Lady Gaga seemed to do everything in her power to annoy everyone watching, including wrecking Elton John’s “Your Song.” Gaga lacks talent in a loud and obnoxious way, unlike anything the world has seen before. I honestly cannot comprehend the infatuation the world has with her.
If her androgynous looks and her hideous singing wasn’t enough for me to dislike her, her attire was. From the red carpet until the night concluded, Gaga was the equivalent of a defective child desperate for attention playing dress-up. I read in an interview that Lady Gaga’s music is inspired by fashion, which really clears up why her music is unlistenable.
But enough about that. There was much more throughout the night that was both frustrating and confusing. While watching, I was left with a few questions. Do people really still like Bon Jovi? Who thought Taylor Swift and Stevie Nicks were a good combo? What the hell was going on during Pink’s performance?
I think the biggest question—or criticism—is why does every performance need to be so ridiculously over the top, jamming as many people on stage as humanly possible or relying on foolish gimmicks and elaborate stage shows that are masturbatory at best?
While I’m still griping, I have to take issue with the Michael Jackson tribute. “Earth Song”... really? I’m not saying it’s a bad track—far from it—but come on.
Performing a song that wasn’t on “Thriller” is nothing short of spitting on MJ’s grave, unless “Will You Be There?” was performed because MJ belts it like no other, and there’s a sick drum beat and about 40 key changes.
Also, this is essentially MJ’s Grammy-going-out-party. Couldn’t we have done a little better than 3-D glasses?
OK, Taylor Swift, it’s your turn. I don’t know how many awards you’ve won this year because I didn’t look it up, but I do know it is a hell of a lot.
There is absolutely no need to almost break out into tears like you didn’t expect to win.
Everyone expected you to win.
That doesn’t mean you are talented, though, it just means the world loves little non-threatening white girls who write their own music. Oh, and please stop singing flat; it’s really annoying.
I wasn’t mad when Swift won album of the year because, honestly, none of the albums nominated were really any good. What did upset me was when she said she was bringing the album of the year Grammy back to Nashville. If Taylor Swift is Nashville, I’m Compton.
Just because your pop music has a little bit of twang to it does not mean you are a country artist. I was just praying for that girl to get “Kanye’d” again.
A few more quick shots before I get to the positives (yes, there were positives).
Green Day preformed “21 Guns” with the cast of the upcoming Broadway musical based on their 2004 album “American Idiot.” I’m glad they haven’t strayed far from their roots. Long live punk rock.
I thought Lady Gaga was manly, but then Fergie emerged along with her Black Eyed Peas minions. Do people still like them? If so, why?
Are there awards given out at the Grammys or just elaborate performances? I’m pretty sure I could count the number of awards given out on one hand. But what do I know; it’s only an awards show.
Despite the above nonsense, there were a few solid moments.
Jeff Beck’s tribute to the late Les Paul was more than entertaining, Beyonce was on fire (both vocally and visually) and the Dave Matthews Band actually put together a nice performance.
The highlight of the show, though, was undoubtedly Lil Wayne, Drake and the triumphant return of Eminem.
I know Eminem has been around recently, but he hasn’t sounded this good since “The Marshall Mathers LP.”
Travis Barker on the drums and a pretty tight band added a lot as well.
The performance started out with Weezy and Em on “Drop the World,” one of maybe two good songs on Weezy’s upcoming record, “Rebirth.”
After a few minutes of that, Drake came on and the trio absolutely destroyed “Forever.”
That is, I think they did. The ridiculous censoring of both the lyrics and the music made the performance almost inaudible.
I understand it’s live television, but there has to be a better way to censor some lyrics.
Regardless, the performance was incredible and essentially made the show.
Overall, the Grammys did exactly what it always does, and that is entertain. It gave highs and lows, it gave questions and confusions; it did exactly what it needed to do.
The ratings were great and people are talking about it around the world. That sounds like a success to me.
I don’t care that I consider the Grammys a car wreck; I won’t ever be able to look away.
36 comments
What a close minded jacka**